Today my husband and I will celebrate our third anniversary. With wisdom from all my years on the earth and my time spent as part of a married couple (lol) I started thinking about the components of a healthy, happy marriage.
I think most memories are built on big events. Marriages are built on the little things.
My husband is gone a lot (obviously) and he has an extremely demanding work schedule when he is home. I love how driven he is and how hard he works to provide for our family. But I would be lying if I said his long hours and frequent absences didn't bother me. Sometimes I'm angry about it. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I wonder why it feels like I have to take the backseat to everyone else's family crises. But when I feel I've reached the boiling point, (or I'm about to boil over,) I think about the little things.
My husband wakes up long before the sun. But when I finally wake up in the morning, I always have a cup of coffee all set up for me. All I have to do is push brew. He is thinking of me in the wee morning hours.
When my husband leaves for training or if he isn't sure if he'll see me that night, I am sure to find some little handwritten note. It might only be a tiny sliver of ripped paper that says "love you babe," but when I find those little treasures, they are better than any Hallmark card.
As much as I bug my husband about it, he really does try his darndest every day to be home before our young children go to bed. He may have been working for 15+ hours and not had a bite to eat since about 10am, but I will hear him march up the stairs and give our baby boy a bottle in the rocking chair and read our daughter her bedtime story. He might only be able to see our children for ten minutes on the week days, but he really makes those minutes count.
And when the children doze off, he comes to be with me. He'll sit his exhausted body down on the sofa instead of our bed so I can lay my head on his chest and talk his ear off. I know he'd rather be sleeping, but he sacrifices yet again, just for me. He spends all day with other people's problems because he has to...he chooses to be there to listen to me jabber about mine.
He knows how to make me smile when I'm upset. He knows when to take over with the kids and give me space when I'm losing it. He knows how to fix the things around the house that I've broken. We laugh a lot more than we fight, and after we fight, we usually find a way to laugh about it later. He supports me when I go to school, go to work, go back to school, can't find work, stay at home, volunteer...
He is my best friend. Our wedding day was one of the biggest moments that we've shared together, but that one wonderful evening wouldn't have been enough to keep me satisfied for all the years to come. Instead, I have that moment to remember and a lifetime of little things left to look forward to. And I really do love the little things...
Happy anniversary to my love. Here's to all the rest to come.