Today I got to stay home with a sweet little sick person, and I've never been so grateful for a sick child in my life.
Can I be transparent with y'all?
I've been struggling lately, friends.
I struggle with placing too much importance on achievement and performance. I "need" the respected position. I really want the recognition and the gold star. Motherhood doesn't give that to you. It just gives you a bunch of self-doubt. And laundry.
I realize that being a mom is an incredible job, but I struggle A LOT--almost daily--with trying to find value in what I do, especially as my children grow and start to 'need me less.'
But this lowly feeling is a total lie.
My value is not found in a profession, a title, or how much money I make.
It's not found in how smart, or funny, or qualified other people think I am.
Or how clean and well-decorated my house is.
Or how well-behaved or high-achieving my children are.
Or how fancy the food in their lunchboxes is or how many home cooked meals I make.
Or how successful or doting my husband is.
Or how trendy my clothes are, or how fit I am, or how pretty a picture I take.
Or even how many people like me or like what I say...
It is found in Christ alone and His love for me.
Today, I realized how selfish my ambitions can make me. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a twinge of disappointment surge through me when I discovered I was staying home with a sick kid. I had places to be. I had other things I thought I needed to do. I had "gold stars" I thought I needed to earn elsewhere.
But none of the things on my to-do list were what my heart really needed to feel worthwhile. Turns out, all I needed to do was snuggle up with my child and serve him.
I needed to watch the Captain Underpants movie with his tired head on my lap and hear him giggle at the stupid jokes.
I needed to read him his favorite Berenstain Bears books and help him put flower stickers on deserving characters in the stories. (Mama Bear got a lot of flowers,y'all-- because he's being raised right 😉)
I needed to let my boy teach me how to dance "the floss" so I could cheer on his imaginary football team. (Watch out, world, cuz I'ma do it everywhere now.)
But most importantly, I needed to look with loving eyes on my sweet child and remember that I'm being looked at the same way by my Father in heaven.
Are you tired, mama? Are you doubtful?
Do you feel unimportant? Unnecessary? Underwhelming?
You aren't. You are ridiculously valuable to a most high God. He created you ESPECIALLY! He loves you fiercely and forever. Breathe in that truth. Exhale out every stupid thought that says otherwise and makes your heart unwell..
Let us know His love.
Let us make it known.
(Then let's all dance, because I have a cool new move to try out. 😉)