Thursday, November 10, 2011

Seeing the Truth About Yourself

Well, this is the last day for judgement. Yesterday, I didn't write because the book told me I should take some time to think about this section on the last day, and so I did. (I also enjoyed myself some Country Music Awards...)

At the end of the lesson, the author asks a whole bunch of questions regarding how I deal with judgement/judging others in my own life and he broke them into three different categories:
Questions About Ignoring the Plank in My Eye
Questions About Removing the Plank from My Eye
Questions About Removing the Speck in My Brother's or Sister's Eye

And while I don't want to delve into all the questions he asked me here (that would take another 40 days in and of itself) I did feel compelled to answer one of the questions that I found personally intriguing and challenging. Under the "Removing the Speck" category, the author poses the following question:
"Have I first looked for this issue or problem in my own eye?"

On the first day we were challenged to think if there are any areas in our life where we have the tendency to become judmental of others. I ripped on all of these people:

-Bad Mothers
-Military spouses who cheat on their husbands while they are deployed.
-Chatty women who only talk about other women.
-Chronic whiners
-People who have posted ANYTHING on the 'Col Joe Wants To Know' page.

A couple of days later, the book had this to say about our judgements: "Have you noticed that it's easiest to notice the specks in others' eyes when you have a plank of the same kind in your eye? You see in other people the very same problems that are most common in your own life."
When I was thinking about what I was going to write today, I was really pressured to think about what makes me so quick to judge the aforementioned people. Are the people that I am "out to get" really all that different from me? Am I running my mouth about how awful these people are while I'm walking around with the same kind of specks in my own eye? I hate to admit that for the most part, the answer is yes!

-I am quick to judge people I see as bad mothers, but if you read any of my blogs, you will see that I am far from perfect. It was very recently that I have admitted to losing my temper and yelling out of anger at my children...and I am pretty sure I have written about it more than once. (And I have acted out this poor behavior many, MANY more times than I have shared with any of you.)
-Go back a couple of days to read the full-length explanation, but I have already admitted to being a slob that has only just newly converted to a life of cleanliness.
-I have not, will not, cannot, would not, nor would ever dream of having an affair while my husband is deployed (or when he is home for that matter.) However, I am nowhere near the perfect wife. I am sure I have disappointed my husband in some other way during some other point in time. And I know for a fact that I have told him I would do things I am not doing (namely not spend too much money and work to save while he is deployed)--And when you boil it all down, a broken promise is a broken promise.
-I can spot a gossip from a mile away because I used to be one...hello! I am a woman! Not only that, I was a teenage girl. A cheerleading, teenage do the math.
-I am quick to judge the constant complainer, but lately, all I have been doing is griping about the stuff that isn't going my way. My botched plans to attend a baby shower, the kids who are having accidents and diaper blowouts left and right, the toilet that flooded, the washer that caught on fire, the CD people from the last post...
Look at the subtitle of my stinkin' blog. It is self-proclaimed that all I do on this thing is roar and rant (i.e. nag, nag, nag. Bicker, gripe, complain. Make sarcastic remark. Make snarky remark. Whine, grip, complain some more.) Although, I guess at this point it would also be appropriate to throw in another 'hello! I am a woman!' here.
-I do not like people who "name-drop" to make themselves appear self-important. But maybe I would do the same thing if I ever met anybody I felt was that important. In truth, all name-dropping is, is an attempt to persuade people to listen to you. "Listen to me because I have it on good authority from this very important person that..." They got the names--I got the jokes. And I use my tactic just the same as they use theirs.
-In case you don't know what the 'Col Joe Wants to Know' page is, it is basically supposed to be a resource for the military service and family members of Fort Bliss to seek information regarding the goings-on on post. "When does this new facility open?" "When can I access this certain gate?" "When will the repairs on this building be completed?" etc. etc. But Army Spouses have turned it into a place to do what we do best: Bicker. Gripe. Complain. This one was posted 34 minutes ago:
"How is it that army spouses are suppose to get first shot at a job here? When every on post job I apply for and get told they will call never happens and then the position is filled by locals. Have 10 yrs of exp in my area and have been denied alot. Been here since nov. of last year. No disrepect but it seems as only mexicans are being hired. Thats on lawn crews, kitchens u name it?"
Not an appropriate issue for the Colonel there, buddy. I think he should get a blog so we can just complain about it amongst ourselves, because I know I have griped about that issue too; I just didn't post it on Col Joe. :)

So in answer to Mr. Holloday's question, no, I did not, in fact, look for the specks in my own eye before I started judging these people. But I see all of them clearly now. Come to find out, my eyes are pretty speckled. It's amazing I am able to see through them enough to cast any judgements at all.
But my eyes are opened now and that is the truth. And while it may take some time for me to get my initial thoughts in check, I know I will need to do some hard examining of myself first before I go to critique someone else. Because apparently I really am better at spotting the specks in others' eyes before I can recognize the plank in mine.

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