Thursday, July 14, 2011

Love Is...

I am such a lucky girl. :)

I have two beautiful children who are the heartbeat of who I am. A husband who is my best friend, confidant, provider, and teammate. Friends who I truly enjoy and adore. A family who is ever-present and who I am proud to share genes with :) A God who blesses me unceasingly, though I never ever deserve it.

I am feeling the love tonight! And so because of that, I will share my two cents and add some one-liners to the popular 1970's comic.

Love Is...

Watching Yo Gabba Gabba...for the 100th time--and getting up to do all the "dancy-dances" with you.

Eating Mickey Mouse shaped chicken nuggets/Easy Mac for lunch, because they are your favorite.

Crawling through the tunnels at Jungle Jaks and getting bopped in the head by the giant punching bag innumerous amounts of times because I won't let you go down the crazy slides alone.

Teaching you how to use the slip-n-slide, complete with demonstrations of "proper form."

Sticking around...even after potty-training.

Love is...

Processing deer meat with you

Staying up late at night looking at recipes and trailers on the BBQ forum

Learning how to "properly" fold your ACU undershirts and taking the time to make sure your socks are not inside-out before pairing them and putting them in your drawer

cooking two extra dinners to bring to Town Hall meetings--even though they are not going to eat it--but just because you asked me

"never having to say you're hungry"-Charlie Robinson (lol)

Missing you every other month out of the year; sometimes a year at a time (you ARE worth it, by the way)

Love is...

Letting you see me without make-up

Laughing so hard that I snort

Telling you my most embarrassing stories and trusting that I won't see them on Facebook the next day :)

Continuing to talk to you, even when you tag the most HORRIBLE pictures of me on Facebook for ALL the world to see

Always ALWAYS offering a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a safe place to share

Love is...

Promising that I will call more

Knowing that you will love me just as much, even if I don't end up calling

Recognizing that I have, in fact, turned into my mother/father/grandmother/aunt/etc.-and I don't feel the least bit ashamed about it :)

Still wondering if I make you proud

Totally accepting the fact that I am-and forever will be-"Pookie"

Love is...

Believing-when it doesn't make sense

Trusting-when I don't think it's possible

Giving praise-when I feel like giving up

Obeying-when I don't like the instruction

Praying-when I don't know what else to do

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Your friend, the flake

I read the following article that a facebook friend had posted to her status and I just had to share it.

I have to admit that while I was reading it, I was chuckling to myself thinking "I pity this woman for the wake-up call she will receive when she has her own children." But I also was thinking about how guilty I as a mother feel about the pitiful friend that I truly am.

I am an awful, flaky friend. Of course, I am not this way on purpose. My children are not an excuse for me to bail out--they are a bonafide reason. But even so, when I have to cancel on a friend, or turn down an offer to get together, or simply realize that it has been months since I have even called, I feel pretty cruddy about it.

Motherhood has honestly sucked the life out of me. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, I am catering to someone else's wants and needs. The schedule I have created for me and my two children is our lifeline and my source of sanity. Wake up, breakfast, dress, morning activity, lunch, nap time, snack, afternoon activity, supper, evening play, bathtime, bedtime, my shower, dishes, housekeeping, quiet time, sleep, repeat. This is at least my ideal schedule. Notice I didn't pencil in tantrums, blowouts, etc into my list. Sometimes I am able to squeeze an extra errand in there. Occasionally I can find time to write a blog. But for the most part, if you want to know "what I do all day," refer to my list.

As horrible as it sounds, sometimes penciling friend-time into my schedule feels like one more chore to check off of the to-do list. Mom-ing takes all of my energy and most of my day. But I am not just a mom. I am a wife, a friend, a volunteer and an individual who also needs to find time for herself inspite of all my other relational obligations. But because my scale is so poorly balanced, someone-be it my husband, my friends, or myself- is ultimately going to get the short end of the stick.

Most of my friends (mostly mothers themselves) understand this and I would venture to guess, feel the same way I do. So to all of you, and you know exactly who you are, THANK YOU for your friendship, patience, fogiveness and understanding.
Thank you for inviting me to dinner, even though you know there's no way in the world I can go. Your invitations make me feel wanted and valued as a person and not just as a mother.
Thank you for meeting with me to chat-be it at a coffee, playdate, etc. I know that it must be frustrating to carry on a conversation with a person who has to leave it every fifteen seconds to chase after a child. Your adult conversation means everything to me and I always look forward to it.
Thank you for always meeting me at my house for dinner or a movie or whatever. I know my house is not at all the most exciting place in the world to hang out, but you realize how convenient it is for me to be home and how I truly do want to be "present" when I finally am able to fit you in.
Thank you for being my friend, in spite of the fact that I hardly ever call, text, message, or communicate in any form or fashion. I love you. You are dear to me. I TRULY value your company AND I MISS YOU!!
Thank you to all of you, who when we finally do get a chance to hang out/talk on the phone, have to listen to me talk about my children THE ENTIRE TIME. I know you probably don't want to hear about their poo incidents, their doctor appointments, their temper tantrums, their ballet class, etc. Thank you for listening, anyway!

And mostly thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for continuing to reach out to a horrible, flaky friend like me.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Apps...

I am probably the oldest 25 year old I have ever known. I've joked with people again and again that I should have been born in a different era. I would have loved the 50's. I don't think I would have had any problem staying home all day baking and taking care of the house and kids all while wearing a skirt and high heels. (After all, I do that anyway!)
I mostly feel out of place in the present time because I am terribly and horribly technologically-handicapped. It's not that I am against progress. I am completely for it. No person in her right mind would say, "Why would I need to use indoor plumbing when I have a perfectly good hole in the ground right here?" No, progress is good...I just can't figure all this new junk out.

My latest challenges:
1. Video Games- There are zero-zilch-no gaming systems in my house. Mostly because I think they are a waste of time, money, and brain power but also in part because I don't know how to work any of the controls and that really frustrates me. I grew up playing the original Nintendo games (the one with the Duck Hunt...AWESOME!) The control had 5 buttons on it--A, B, start, select, and the arrows. Now it's like you have to put on a robot hand to operate the game. If it takes me three hours to read the manual on how to operate the controller, I don't want to play it.

2. Smart Phones- I may be asking a stupid question here, but am I the only person in the entire world who does not want one of these things?! I currently have no data plan on my phone and I LOVE IT. I like the fact that I am able to be unplugged from everything else. I do not need to be on a social network at all hours of the day. I don't need my phone to IM, play videos, surf the web, have a flashlight function, be a GPS navigation, show me what I'll look like as a fat person, and make my morning cup of coffee. I need it to talk, text, and take an occasional picture of the kids to send to their dad when he is in the field. Unfortunately, I am sure there will come the day when I have to buy a smart phone because they will stop making my dinosaur-models...and with my luck, the phone will have the capability to do EVERYTHING but place a call.

3. IPODS- I did this one to myself, people. I know these are not a new form of technology, but I am totally clueless on how to use them. However, I thought it would be an awesome idea to get my husband one for his birthday so he could have it while he's deployed (mainly travelling) to listen to music and watch movies and such. I had no idea what I was looking for when I was shopping so I got him one with 160 GB of space...apparently that's a lot. I didn't know that! But what's more awesome is that I married a man who is just as technologically inept as I am. We spent about an hour farting around on the computer trying to transfer over his music files before we realized we had to download ITunes for it to work. Then we had to spend additional time figuring out why our computer wouldn't download ITunes. We've finally copied over some files but we have still yet to add video to the thing...we've decided that we are just going to coax our more tech-savvy friends into doing it for us :)

I could go on and on here, because truthfully, if it requires more than simply hitting a power button or flipping an on/off switch, I am lost. But these are the biggest culprits plaguing me right now.
My husband and I have joked that our daughter's kindergarten school supply list will include things like a laptop computer. Let's hope not; because I will not be able to help her with her show-and-tell homework if I can't figure out her teacher's blackboard program :(